This morning, upon waking up, I did what is now my morning routine. Zachary cried around 6, so I pulled myself up to get him and feed him. Then once he fell back asleep, I got up and made a sandwich for Matt's lunch, complete with two mandarine oranges, a banana and a Zone bar (the peanut butter kind). I put my coffee in the microwave, weighed myself and sat down in my dining room/office to listen to my bible verses on iTunes, next to the wall heater underneath the window that has a "For Sale" sign in it.
up for another cup. Set timer.. 1:00. DING. I really must recommend Hershey's unsweetened cocoa + Truvia + Pacific Vanilla Soy milk in your coffee. It makes for a verrrrry low calorie mocha that tastes just like the real thing. But I digress...
Two months ago, I would have been on my way to work, to sit at a desk for 8 hours with nothing to do.
I'm not shocked that I was laid off, and I'm not sad. However, I do feel that I am in an ethereal state of transition. I don't know what God has planned for the rest of my life, or even the rest of this year. All my life, I wanted was to be a Stay-at-Home-Mom, who got up every morning to make her husband's lunch and save money by reheating yesterday's coffee.
And now I am just that. Proverbs 31 has a lot to say about being a godly woman, and I don't think I will ever achieve all of the things she does. But for my personality which views achievement as a form of narcotic, I will fixate on that list as something to which I can aspire, and be thankful that I can live in that realm. Thank you God for answering my prayer.